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Title: A Relationship Based on Mutual Respect
Author: jedibuttercup
Disclaimer: The words are mine; the worlds are not
Rating: PG
Prompt/Prompter: faviconFiona_nk, who asked for: "Leverage/Jurassic World; Parker, Alec Hardison, Owen Grady. 'How many times do I have to say it, woman? Dinosaurs don't make good pets!'"
Spoilers: Post-series for Leverage; set mid-Jurassic World
Notes: Yuletide derailed me again this year; apologies. Current goal: to get them done quicker than last year! *cracking knuckles* Title from an Owen quote from the movie. Barry's last name borrowed from Macx's epic, because canon didn't give him one.

Summary: "How many times do I have to say it, woman?" Alec hissed over the comms. "Dinosaurs don't make good pets!" 1000 words.

"How many times do I have to say it, woman?" Alec hissed over the comms. "Dinosaurs don't make good pets!"

He could see what Parker was doing over the internal cameras, in the hold of the boat they'd commandeered to transfer the velociraptors from Jurassic World to the preserve at Site B. Watching his girl crouch over one of the most efficient killing machines known to nature, staring intently into its slowly-blinking, drugged-up eye, was making him more nervous than facing down a Sterenko. Even with its alpha trainer crouched right there cooing soothing noises to it, you couldn't have paid him to be that close to a raptor. At least where he was, Alec had access to all the tools he needed-- laptop, antenna, and the boat's power systems-- to rig a version of the park's e-fences to shock the raptors' skin, not just implants, if he had to. He'd done it around the perimeter of the park's Main Street while Eliot and the ACU crew hunted the I-Rex; it would be even easier a second time.

Now that had been some crazy shit. It was a good thing they'd already sent Eliot under with the Asset Containment Units before the script had changed on them; no one had been expecting the Indominus Inquisition, especially not the guy who'd hired them. If Eliot hadn't been manning the big gun in the chopper-- well, Masrani's guys had come damn close to chasing that locomotive of teeth and fury into the Aviary as it was. Whose brilliant idea had it been not to chip the flying monsters like every other damn dinosaur on the island? Alec had been horrified when his hack of the control network had turned up that little omission.

"Aw, are you sure?" Parker replied, leaning closer to examine a scary-sharp sickle claw. Over the comms, she sounded wistful and a little pouty, like when she had cash in her hands and had to hand it over to someone else. "I know we can't keep these ones, we already promised Barry we'd rescue them from that Hoskins guy, and they might eat the clients. But what about one of the babies from the zoo?"

Alec knew she was probably only seeing the money-colored scales and the potential applications of an unusual, trainable animal partner, not what they'd have to do to keep an actual, full-grown dinosaur happy at the brewpub back home. Nevermind the laws about exotic pets; just feeding and housing a prehistoric Fido would be a nightmare. The smallest dinos in the park were the compies, which weren't exactly herbivores, and even though some of the big boys did come in cute infant sizes....

He abruptly remembered seeing her coo over the chicken-sized, newly-hatched gallimimus in the arms of the ranger lady in the petting zoo, and blanched. The adult ones were better than six feet tall just at the hip. "Parker, tell me you didn't already steal one," he groaned.

"Okay, I won't tell you," she chirped in reply, straightening up so the camera could see the way her souvenir hoodie bunched in the front... complete with a little lizard head poking its nose up out of the neckline.

"Steal one what?" Barry asked. The assistant raptor trainer had come along to drive the boat; and because no matter how grateful the park manager might be that 'Owen's Friends' had rescued her and her nephews in the process of collecting the raptors' alpha and convincing him it was time to go, the climate on Isla Nublar would be pretty dangerous for both trainers once iNGen realized their prized living-weapon program had disappeared.

Alec raised his eyebrows and spun the laptop around so Barry could see the screen. "Tell me it's a veggiesaurus, at least," he winced. He'd picked up the term from one of the rare interviews Lex Murphy had given before the park opened, recommending that Jurassic World stick to herbivores if they really intended to honor her grandfather's legacy.

Barry frowned at the screen. "Is that the gally from Gentle Giants? Yes, it's an herbivore, but... the caretaker will be out of her mind with worry!"

From the look on Owen Grady's face as the inquisitive little dino turned its head to take a look at him, and the emphatic gestures Alec could see him directing at Parker, the other trainer was expressing much the same opinion, though Alec couldn't quite make out the words over the comm. Not that it was going to do Grady much good, from the tilt of Parker's chin. "Well, it's too late to take it back now. We'll have to leave it on Sorna with the others."

"But they'll eat her," Parker objected, directing the words to all of them. "She'll be safer with me!"

"Parker, she'll be bigger than a horse when she's full grown," Alec hinted.

Parker gasped, covering the dinosaur's earholes with her hands. "Don't insult her like that!" she objected, glancing up at the camera with a frown.

When Barry Devoe had pitched them the job, Alec been too busy geeking out over Henry Wu's genius and diving into iNGen's secret corporate memos to verify the trainer's suspicions to really consider what it would be like to actually see and touch the resurrected animals; he supposed he shouldn't fault Parker for the same, especially since she'd probably missed out on the usual dinosaur-manic phase in her childhood.

"Well, we did say we operated on an alternate revenue stream," he joked, wryly; the rest of the argument could wait 'til Eliot was there to back him up.

"Merde," Barry swore in disgruntled French.

Alec snorted, then perked up as a shape popped up on the radar.

They'd successfully stolen five dinosaurs. Whatever happened next? They'd already raised the bar. Let Nate try to top this one next time they traded stories.

"Speaking of streams," he said, grinning. "We're almost at the dock. Parker? Time to back off and let Mr. Grady go to work."



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(Deleted comment)
Jan. 5th, 2016 02:07 am (UTC)
I was tempted, but I thought a baby would appeal more to her than an egg, and there's that petting zoo right there! :)

I enjoyed the movie a lot, and am definitely looking forward to the inevitable suquel, but there were several points where I wanted to *facepalm*. Especially the fact that while the Indominus was nominally the Big Bad, and probably did have a higher death count because of the ACU and iNGen guys, none of the guests would have been harmed if the chopper hadn't chased the Indominus into the pterosaur enclosure and then crashed into it afterward!
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 5th, 2016 09:15 pm (UTC)
Hopefully Owen Grady and one or more raptors will be back in the next one! The only thing that could make it better is if Alan Grant was back, too, LOL.

I've been following Macx since I found their story "Deep Waters" on ff.net back in the early days of my fannishness, more than a decade ago now (it's a Godzilla: the series story, from the cartoon made from the 1998 movie, in which Nick is similarly bonded to a baby Godzilla, that spawned a whole universe of connected fic of various crossovers). There's a bunch of Transformers movie-verse stuff I got engrossed in, too; I was thrilled when Jurassic World popped up. Their stories are not always to my taste, but are always, always fascinating.
Jan. 5th, 2016 02:00 pm (UTC)
OK I am totally with Parker on finding the baby dinos adorbs. I mean, really - what did Hardison expect her to do? LOL
Jan. 5th, 2016 09:10 pm (UTC)
Exactly. :) Glad you enjoyed the story!
Jan. 5th, 2016 07:40 pm (UTC)
It'd be like having a full sized Pleo...
Jan. 5th, 2016 09:11 pm (UTC)
I had to google Pleo; wow, that is a thing I did not know existed. Thanks. :)
Jan. 6th, 2016 02:04 am (UTC)
This makes me squee. And awww. And totally believe that Parker would try and bring a baby dino home. I can absolutely see Eliot's face when she pops one out of her hoodie too. Hahaha. Love this. I'll have to go look up that other set of stories you mentioned.

And yes, there were so many moments in that movie. Who let the amateur drive the helicopter in the first place? I mean honestly! Wreck waiting to happen!
Jan. 13th, 2016 08:45 am (UTC)
It's not a Jurassic Park movie if there aren't kids in peril and people getting eaten by dinosaurs, though. Here's hoping the next one does something new ... because there's definitely going to be a next one, with that box office!

And Eliot will definitely have something to say about Parker's latest acquisition! Glad you enjoyed the story. :)
Jan. 6th, 2016 02:34 am (UTC)
I'm with Parker. I want a baby dinosaur regardless of how large and deadly it might become. ;)

There's something so sweet and adorable about Hardison and Parker's relationship and you've captured it perfectly.
Jan. 13th, 2016 08:47 am (UTC)
Me too. :) She'll figure something out, and if not, that's what she has Alec and Eliot for, right? I really miss that show!
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